Associates, as I pen this missive from the Jalopnik World Headquarters in midtown Manhattan, I’m annoyed. For days now, the subway station exit nearest to our workplace has been overrun by swarms of robed youths — they’re graduating from faculty, or highschool, or another educational pursuit. I do know this can be a momentous event for them, a coming-of-age ceremony that indicators the tip of childhood and step one into the bigger, actual world, however I additionally want them to please for the love of god get the fuck out of my manner.
The complete sidewalk is only a mass of robes, diplomas, and the oldest kin you’ve ever seen, all doddering their manner round with seemingly no route, vacation spot, or deadline. I simply need to exit the subway, seize some lunch, and get to the workplace, however as a substitute I’ve to slink and dodge my manner by graduates and nonagenarians just like the world’s worst spherical of Subway Surfers. So, with that frustration in thoughts, immediately we’re autos that may draw consideration and get folks to maneuver—in different phrases, we’re wanting on the Dopest Vehicles.